Lately, I miss my family, and I feel lonely. I’m tired and struggling to take care of myself because I have so many responsibilities and drive around 12 hours a week. My body just aches, maybe from stress or maybe from having to sit so much. I’m finishing up another semester of school this week. The ends of these semesters have felt like the ends of marathons.
People tell me that I’m doing a great job, that they’re proud of me. I’m pretty certain I’m moving in the right direction, but it’s hard to tell, really. I’m just trying my best to follow my inner compass. I’m just winging it. I like who I’m becoming. But the more I know the more I realize I don’t know. I guess that’s wisdom.
I’d like to have a tribe.
Sometimes when I sit to write I just feel melancholy. Today is one of those sometimes. I’ve heard people won’t care, but I don’t care. Blogging daily is for me more than it is for them, and I like sharing it because I want to share the evolution of my voice.
It might damage my career or credibility, but I don’t care. I’d rather be honest and promote my humanity and hopefully give others the bravery to say their truth than to abandon my truth for a small chance for greater material success.
I’ve heard the difference between a professional and an amateur is the professional puts aside their authenticity to be useful. I think a professional who embraces authenticity is a human being who is helping the world become a better place. They’re the best kind of artist and leader because they haven’t forgotten we all feel like children, and it’s okay to talk about it. It’s disheartening that so many people are liars. It’s shameful that so many people don’t actually care about others’ well-being.
I feel like Watsky, a music artist, he writes,
Because there are 7 billion 47 million people on the planet
And I have the audacity to think I matter
I know it’s a lie but I prefer it to the alternative
… We’ll see what the future holds, I guess.