A personal narrative II

About a month ago I was approached by a nice guy named Derek at my local coffee shop. He liked how I was dressed, and he said he would love to get to know me more. Excited about the opportunity to actually meet someone in the area (I have earned zero acquaintances since moving to a new town six months ago), I said, “Absolutely”.

I’m really busy because of graduate school, so it took us a month for our schedules to align. I was expecting to get connected to a bit of a community here, and it was something I was really looking forward to.  But after about 10 minutes of chatting with him, I realized he was being insincere.

He said things like, “Come be a part of this mentorship opportunity, make passive income, and can you imagine what your life would be like with an extra $3,000 a month?” The worst thing he said was, “See, I view people as assets.”

He tried to sell me on a multi-level marketing company. He already had one person lined up and just needed two more.

As soon as I said I wasn’t interested, he packed up his bags and left.

I’m bummed. I hate how isolated my life is. It can magnify the disconnection in society, the reality that everyone is afraid to be vulnerable to strangers – to make an authentic connection.

It’s classified as an experiment to say “hi” to someone on public transit.

I just want people to be real. I think that takes me being real. I am real in my graduate program, but I can tell when I am people can be put off or, worse, they treat me with condescension. Or, I think lastly, I’m just ignored.

I wake up in the morning and listen to motivational videos sometimes. Speakers like Les Brown yell, “YOU JUST GOTTA PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER! LIFE IS HARD! LET ME REPEAT: LIFE. IS. HARD! I LOST MY HOUSE WITH MY SICK MOM BECAUSE I WAS SUCKERED! YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS!”

I can. And I will. And I’ll be fine. I’ll just be mostly alone for a while. And I guess that’s okay. I’m grateful for what I do have. There are several people who really love me.

I’m sorry this isn’t more positive. This is me, being real. I feel like it’s not professional, but I think it’s probably important. It’s important for you to hear because if you feel similar, you’re not alone.