Wonderful, a state of being and becoming

For the past few weeks whenever people ask me how I’m doing, I stop what I’m doing, look them in the eyes, smile, and say enthusiastically, “Wonderfully”.

I know, it’s strange. Most people just say things like “Great”, “Fine”, “Living the dream”, or “I’m well”. Then, of course, they follow with the customary, “You?”

Wonderfully….wonderfully, to me, this isn’t just saying, “I’m doing especially great”. What I’m saying to them, and more importantly to myself, is that I am literally “full of wonder”. I am full of the child-like amazement that the weight of life presses out of most adults. I am to the brim with curiosity, hope, and faith. I am conquering my inner cynic.

People tend to be literally taken back. Notably and somewhat tangentially, they tend to be taken back with my appreciation as well. If you take a look around at, say, a local coffee shop, it’s surprising how thankless people are – especially at a college campus where youth often feel entitled.

Another book I’m wrapping up is How to Be Yourself. This work in addition to the immense amount of work by Brené Brown I’m reading is slowly allowing me to express my most authentic self.

This Kyle is sometimes awkward, sometimes a little too much, and sometimes intensely passionate. He’s also occasionally insecure. Because it’s hard to be yourself. You can’t open yourself up to experience the best things in life like empathy, joy, and meaning without opening yourself to judgment and mistakes.

Luckily, it’s come to me relatively easily. But I’m convinced it will be a while before it’s perfectly natural and I’m completely confident.

In this sense, as the title says, the kind of wonder I’m cultivating is becoming.