One of the most difficult experiences in our lives is as followed:
Someone you know and care about is going through a tough time. Actually, they’ve been going through a tough time. In fact, they seem to ALWAYS be dealing with something.
They’re troubled, plain and simple, and they are a drain on your life. You give them advice, and they never seem to take it. What do you do? Your inner altruist says you got to stick it through with them. You got to be there for them no matter what.
Here’s the deal: if you have been trying to help this person for, let’s say, 3 and half months and they just can’t seem to get it together, to improve their situation no matter what you’ve told them, you have to trim the branches in your life.
They’re not going to do anything but continue to bring you down. If you want to be a 10, you have to hang out with 10s. You are highly and unconsciously influenced by the behaviors, habits, and attitudes of the people you hang out with the most. They set a standard whether you like it or not.
You must tell them, “Listen, I have been trying to help you for months. I care about you a lot, but every time we talk it seems like we’re just dealing with the same things over and over again. And even though I care about you, I have to keep in mind what’s best for me, and I just can’t hang out with someone who refuses to take responsibility for their life. I’m just concerned you’re not a great influence. When you’re ready to actually do something about your life, please reach out to me, and I’ll be happy to be there for you. But I simply cannot keep going in circles with you. I wish you all the best.”
You’re not doing your friend or loved one any favors by enabling their behaviors.
Let them fail. It will build character.