Relationships

In 2009, two brothers – Dave and Mike Radparvar – sat on the steps of Union Square in New York City and wrote the following manifesto. They had just quit their jobs and decided they would venture into the fashion industry with zero experience, and they felt they needed a guiding light.

Today, their company Holstee shares a similar mission to my own, namely bringing more meaning and inspiration into people’s lives.

Holstee Manifesto

Here’s the plain text:

“This is your life.  Do what you love, and do it often.  If you don’t like your job, quit.  If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.  If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.  Stop over analyzing, life is simple.  All emotions are beautiful.  When you eat, appreciate every last bite.  Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences.  Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them.  Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.  Some opportunities only come once, seize them.  Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.  Life is short.  Live your dream and share your passion.”

And if you prefer it in video format, here that is as well: The Holstee Manifesto: Lifecycle Video.

So you don’t know what else to do.

You’ve given it your best shot.

Do you give up and leave or stay and keep trying?

At what point is it worth your time?

When do you declare it unsolvable?

Maybe instead of leaving you ask for help.

You say, “What should I do?”

Or, “I’ve done all I know to do. How better can I help you?”

Sometimes there is no alternative.

Most of the time there is.

It’s just a matter of how bad you want to help.

Do you genuinely want to act?

Do you sincerely desire to listen patiently to get to the core of the problem?

Time, patience, and perseverance – they say- will accomplish all things.

The question, then, is have you really given it your best shot? Or have you decided it’s no longer worth the effort?

 

 

People come and go.

If you gave the maintenance of the relationship your best effort, you’ve nothing to regret.

The mistakes you made are because you’re human, and it’s okay and natural.

Don’t get caught up on the abandonment.

And definitely don’t dislike yourself.

Eventually, everything will be just fine.

 

 

As a kid you feel like remembering birthdays is something adults do.

You might wonder to yourself at what point do you need to start giving cards or other gifts.

But the truth is that it’s never too early to start remembering birthdays.

They’re important to people.

And it means a lot to celebrate with someone the day they entered the world.

It’s the kind thing to do because it makes them feel special.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. – George Bernard Shaw

Shaw is right.

Progress demands originality.

But originality might lead to friction.

People might not accept you.

So those willing to be criticized, disliked, or even hated are the harbingers of innovation.

Change the game. Embrace the haters.

Romance is the most important element in a relationship. It’s the source of the “spark.” It’s the fuel for zest, excitement, and deep connection. Without sustained romance, a relationship won’t function on all cylinders.

It’s tough to sustain romance. Comfort creeps in like the slow growth of grass. You don’t mind that it’s getting out of hand until you eventually have to mow. Except instead of tedious mowing you have do something much harder, that is, emotional labor and overcoming entrenched habits.

If you’re not staying vigilant in your relationship by putting in the time for vulnerable and empathetic discussion, being generous with your affection, and pushing the envelope in terms of showing you care, you risk things becoming stale. You might accidentally give up on mutual growth.

It’s worth a reminder that relationships are a full-time job. So, in the best ones neither person let’s the ball drop on continually improving, both in terms of personal development and as a partner.

The best business managers know that this idea of continuous improvement is critical to success and that if they’re not getting better they’re slipping by either losing market share or hurting organizational culture.

So what have you worked on lately?