I have transformed immensely in the past year. I never would have guessed in a million years I would be the person that I am today. I started this blog with a vague sense that I wanted to explore what was meaningful in life.
It was intended to be an occasional hobby. I loved the idea of being a blogger. I thought it was sophisticated and cool. I had just discovered movies for people interested in philosophy and avant-garde art, and I thought, “Now this is something I can get into.”
Now, the process of constant remembering, reflection, and growth has led me to greater self-understanding than I ever could have imagined. It’s true that you never who you are until you write (or create).
At my core, I can sense a deep feeling that I have a lot of growing to do as an individual. And I’m on exactly the right path to get there. This is at once exciting and frustrating. It’s exciting because it means that I recognize the road to my next level of growth and fulfillment. But it’s frustrating because I wish I had started along sooner.
Yesterday I wrote about Austin Kleon. He’s been creating for many years. He’s a well-developed artist with a lot of practice and creative expertise. I look at him and people like him, and I think, “Man, it must be great to know all about W.H. Auden and all the other people that I don’t know that I don’t know.”
You know you are on a wonderful journey if the only concern you have is why couldn’t I have begun earlier.
I know, though, that I am moving at a pace that’s just right for me, that my life has unfolded perfectly.
I sincerely love who I am and who I am becoming… and I think if you were to pick one clear definition of success, that wouldn’t be a bad one.
I have a great life right now. It’s hard (really hard), but the end of my master’s program is in sight.
And I can tell I’m developing my own voice because I am developing clear inspirations.
I guess, in a super complicated way, what I’m getting at is this: Despite whatever, it seems I’m on my way to a really fulfilling life. And it’s awesome.